Using Parenting Coordinators in North Carolina Custody Cases

Child custody disputes can be very stressful for parents. Even after a final decision is made, it doesn’t always lead to smooth co-parenting. Some parents continue to fight over custody and visitation, which causes ongoing stress. In these situations, North Carolina offers a solution through the use of parenting coordinators (PCs).

What is a Parenting Coordinator?

A Parenting Coordinator (PC) is a fair person, usually a family lawyer, who helps parents with tough custody cases. Their job is to help parents agree on things and follow the custody rules. They want to make sure the child has a stable and safe environment by helping the parents talk and solve problems.

A PC is helpful when the custody order doesn’t cover everything, or when parents can’t agree on things like the visit schedule or the child’s health and school. The PC helps parents focus on what is best for the child, not their arguments.

The PC can also help avoid more trips to court and guide parents to make decisions that are good for the child. This makes co-parenting easier and reduces stress.

Why You May Need a Parenting Coordinator

Parenting coordinators (PCs) help parents in high-conflict custody cases manage disagreements and improve their communication. Here’s why you might need a PC:

Reducing Conflict

When parents argue a lot over custody, it can lead to many court hearings and stress. Parenting coordinators help to resolve disputes between parents, reducing the need for constant court involvement. This helps both parents focus on co-parenting and lowers stress and legal costs.

Addressing Ambiguities

Custody orders are sometimes unclear, which can lead to confusion and fights. A PC can clarify any vague or confusing parts of the custody agreement, making it easier for parents to understand and follow the order. This helps prevent conflicts that could come from misunderstandings.

Improving Communication

In high-conflict cases, it can be hard for parents to talk without arguing. A PC helps guide conversations and ensures both parents communicate respectfully and clearly. This improves cooperation, making it easier to discuss important matters like the child’s health, education, and daily needs.

Child-Focused Decisions

Parenting coordinators (PC) always think about what is best for the child. When parents argue a lot, a PC helps them remember that the child’s needs are the most important. The PC helps the parents make choices that help the child, not their feelings. This makes sure the child is safe and happy.

How Parenting Coordinators Are Appointed

In North Carolina, parenting coordinators can be chosen in three ways:

1. By Agreement: If both parents agree, they can pick a parenting coordinator together and decide what the PC will help with.
2. By Request: If one parent wants a PC and the other does not, the parent can ask the court to appoint a PC.
3. By the Court: If the court thinks a PC is needed for the child, the court can choose a PC even if the parents don’t ask for one. The court will check if both parents can pay for the PC.

What Parenting Coordinators Can Do

The court decides what parenting coordinators can do. The court still decides big things like custody, but a PC helps with smaller things that the parents can’t agree on. A PC can help with:

• Transportation for Visitations: Deciding how the child gets to visit each parent and where the visits happen.
• Food, Clothing, and Appearance: Helping decide what the child eats, wears, and how they look.
• Holidays and Vacations: Helping parents decide how to share holidays and vacations with their children.
• Healthcare and School: Helping decide what doctor the child goes to or what school they attend.
• Discipline and Sports: Helping decide how the child should be disciplined and what sports they can play.
• Other Things: The court or parents can decide other things the PC can help with.

A parenting coordinator helps parents work together and think about the child’s needs. This can make it easier for parents to co-parent and keep the child happy and healthy.

How Can Parenting Coordinators Benefit You

While it is unlikely that parenting coordinators can or will resolve all your problems, there are many benefits of using a PC, especially for parents in high-conflict child custody cases.

If your ex is a narcissist, an abuser, hostile, or unusually stubborn and difficult, then you should consider the benefits of having a PC appointed in your child custody case. To learn more about parenting coordinators and how they can be helpful in your high-conflict child custody case, call a family law attorney to schedule a consultation. If you truly need a PC, then the sooner you can get one appointed, the better.

Attorney Bennett D. Rainey is a North Carolina Board Certified Specialist in Family Law and is a Partner at the law firm of Kurtz Whitley Guy Sanders & Rainey, PLLC in Winston Salem, North Carolina. Bennett regularly represents parents in high-conflict child custody cases and is familiar with parenting coordinators and how they can be used to reduce and resolve conflict. To schedule a consultation with Bennett, email him at brainey@wsncfamilylaw.com or call his office at 336-768-1515.